BLOODY NEW YEAR

BLOODY... um, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO Y'ALL!!! :-)

BLOODY NEW YEAR

Alternate Titles:
Horror Hotel / Time Warp Terror

UK, 1987

Director: Norman J. Warren

5,5/10

Yay! Norman J. Warren, England's #1 sleazemeister, did it again: 
"Bloody New Year", a quite hilarious little low-budget flick that rips off countless classic 80s horror movies like "The Shining" (an abandoned hotel), "The Evil Dead" (zombie-creatures that look and sound like the Deadites), "Poltergeist" (invisible ghosts moving furniture around), "Elm Street" (hands coming out of the wall) and other stuff.

The whole movie looks extremely cheap, especially because of many laughable-looking special effects and some horrid editing. The actors are either dull or completely overact their parts; the dialogue is incredibly stupid, character development is nonexistent and it's packed with large plot holes and plot points that just make no sense.

Gladly, it's full of kinda-creepy things and amusing ideas that I really, really enjoyed: 
a killer elevator, an attacking vacuum cleaner, a table-top that transforms into a swamp monster, murderous fishing nets, a killer sheik that jumps out of a black-and-white film, an indoor snowstorm and a few nice-looking zombies.
There's also some damn cool organ-music, the camera work is pretty cool and it never gets boring.

 
If you're into oldschool b-movie cheesefests (like me), you sure will have a bloody good time watching "Bloody New Year".

Imdb

FRIGHT NIGHT (Original / Sequel / Reboot)

FRIGHT NIGHT

German Title:
Die rabenschwarze Nacht - Fright Night

USA, 1985
Director: Tom Holland

10/10

One of the greatest and most entertaining movies of the 80s AND one of the greatest vampire movies ever made. A movie so enjoyable, so amusing, but at the same time so so thrilling, so atmospheric, it's really amazing.

The acting is fantastic, terrific performances from Roddy McDowall (the great vampire killer), "Evil" Stephen Geoffreys, Chris Sarandon and William Ragsdale. The special effects all look excellent (great vampire / werewolf transformations, fabulous vampire make-up, a melting man...), the script is brilliantly written, brilliantly paced paced and full of super-funny dialogue / one-liners ("Oh, you're so COOL Brewster!" / "Back, spawn of Satan!" / "Kill me! Kill me Charley... before I turn into a vampire and... GIVE YOU A HICKEY!" etc.). and scenes like the supersexy dance in the club or the final battle in the basement are simply unforgettable.
It's also full of gorgeous settings, the 80s soundtrack is awesome and, most important, it absolutely never gets boring.

 
I really, really love 80s vampire flicks like "Lost Boys" or "Near Dark", but IMO nothing beats "Fright Night".

(Review from 01/2010)

Wiki ~ Imdb

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FRIGHT NIGHT PART II

German Titles:
Mein Nachbar, der Vampir - Fright Night II

USA, 1988
Director: Tommy Lee Wallace

8/10

An absolutely terrific and worthy sequel, sadly pretty underrated. It's of course not as amazing as Part 1 but still surprisingly thrilling and highly entertaining.

The plot may be not that original and it's unexcusable that Stephen Geoffreys didn't reprise his role - but apart from that I totally enjoyed it! Roddy McDowall and William Ragsdale are back together and in some kinda weird way they're performances are even better than in the first part. It's full of terrific special effects, neat gore, excellent-looking vampires and other nice creatures (check out the hilarious insane insect-eating vampire!).

It's also pretty tense and atmospheric, packed with great action, hilarious humor and superb scares. The cinematography is beautiful, the soundtrack is very effective and it's full of stunning and memorable scenes (the outstanding finale, the vampire party, the very first bite scene etc.).

 
If only all sequels would be as great as this one...

(Review from 01/2010)

Wiki ~ Imdb

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FRIGHT NIGHT
(Reboot)

Alternate Title:
Fright Night 3D

USA, 2011
Director: Craig Gillespie

2/10

One of this year's biggest disappointments. Yes, I hated it even more than other 3D garbage like "Shark Night" or "One Way Trip". I tried to enjoy it, I really did - but I couldn't.

The characters (the principal strength of the original) are absolutely horrible here: Anton Yelchin plays Brewster as a completely unlikable douchebag, Mintz-Plasse annoyingly transformed Evil Ed into another unfunny McLovin incarnation, Colin Farrell is one of the dullest vampires I've seen in a long time, and worst of all, David Tennant, who decided to turn the great vampire killer Peter Vincent into an unbearable Russell Brand imitation.

There's hardly any suspense or atmosphere, the pacing is tedious, the CGI looks terrible and the supposed-to-be-cool Indie-soundtrack totally doesn't fit. In fact, all the songs from 'hip' artists like Foster The Kids or Lupe Fiasco appear as if they were just randomly thrown in.

A pathetic, worthless and frightfully bad rip-off.

Wiki ~ Imdb

THE VIOLENT KIND

THE VIOLENT KIND

German Title:
Von der bösen Art - The Violent Kind

USA, 2010
Directors: The Butcher Brothers
(Mitchell Altieri & Phil Flores)

5/10

The first Butcher Brothers film I saw was "The Hamiltons", one of the dullest and most boring horror movies I've seen in the last 10 years. "The Violent Kind" is fortunately way better, but still far from being a good movie.

Actually, the first 50 minutes are quite good. There's some mediocre acting and the pacing is often too slow, but aside from that, we get to see many highly thrilling scenes and atmospheric settings, some gorgeous gore and a few superhot chicks. The soundtrack consists of cool punk / rock / rockabilly tunes and the plot feels like an interesting blend of biker exploitation, exorcism horror and "The Evil Dead".

Unfortunately, the remaining 30 minutes are largely crap. The plot, that throws up more questions than answers, takes a twist that turns out to be as inept as the twists in "Kill List" or "Slaughter", we get introduced to a few characters that annoyed the shit out of me, the dialogue is incredibly inane, and the very last "Independence Day"-like scene is just ridiculous.

Nice try Butcher Brothers., but please try harder next time.

Imdb

THE SKIN I LIVE IN

THE SKIN I LIVE IN

Original Title:
La piel que habito

German Title:
Die Haut in der ich wohne

Spain, 2011
Director: Pedro Almodóvar

10/10

"The Skin I Live In" is an outstanding horror-thriller-drama that feels like a blend of classic Hitchcockian suspense and Cronenbergian body-horror.

I'm not exactly sure if this is Pedro Almodóvar's best movie but it is definitely on a par with masterpieces like "Volver" or "All About My Mother".

 
The story about a surgeon who tries to create a new kind of skin, and his test object, a mysterious young woman who bears a dark secret, is not only highly intelligent and incredibly fascinating, but also totally breathtaking and mindblowing, due to an almost perfect script, a baffling non-linear narrative and many completely unpredictable plot twists.

Whenever I thought I figured it all out... BAM another mindfucking twist came around and swept me off my feet, especially the movie's main twist which is so shocking, so gobsmacking, so overwhelming, it's hard to believe.

Furthermore, the whole movie is incredibly intense and thrilling, full of gloomy atmopshere and absolutely never boring. We get to see some gorgeous-looking, beautifully designed settings, the cinematography is astonishing, the intriguing soundtrack is just marvellous and the acting is simply excellent:

a creepy Antonio Banderas in one of his best performances, a wonderfull Elena Anaya, a brilliantly entertaining Marisa Paredes and a super-freaky Roberto Álamo in a hilarious tiger costume.

One of the greatest and most overwhelming movies in 2011; an astonishing must-see masterpiece.

I really hope that Almodóvar will do more stuff like this in the future.

Wiki ~ Imdb

A DANGEROUS METHOD

A DANGEROUS METHOD

German Title:
Eine dunkle Begierde

Canada / Germany / UK / Switzerland, 2011
Director: David Cronenberg

9/10

"A Dangerous Method" is another absolutely stunning work of art from David Cronenberg, one of the greatest directors alive. Despite my rather low expectations, this impressive dialogue-heavy movie simply blew me away.

The Story about Carl Jung's difficult friendship with Sigmund Freud and the love affair with his patient Sabrina Spielrein, is highly interesting, brilliantly written and very well told. The compelling direction and the magnificent cinematography is absorbing and fascinating; the costumes and the beautiful filming locations (Vienna, Bodensee) are a feast for the eye.

Best of all, the acting.

Michael Fassbender is amazing as ambitious and thoughtful Dr. Jung, Viggo Mortensen is superb as stubborn old Dr. Freud and Keira Knightley's expressive and emotional performance as mentally ill young woman is surprisingly mindblowing and almost oscar-worthy.

Other great performances: Vincent Cassel as anarchic psychiatrist and Sarah Gadon as passive mother.

A strong and highly satisfying psycho-drama, highly recommended to every Cronenberg-fan, especially to the ones who adore "Dead Ringers".

Wiki ~ Imdb

Christmas hangover with JACK FROST

JACK FROST

German Title:
Jack Frost - Der eiskalte Killer

USA, 1997
Director: Michael Cooney

6/10

I promise: this is the last Xmas review this year. Originally, I wanted to watch something different, something more sophisticated, but after a huge Christmas hangover and a massive headache, I was only able to watch something really mindless and so I rented "Jack Frost 1 & 2" :-)

 

"Jack Frost" is a really silly but quite entertaining cheesefest about a serial killer who accidentally got mutated into a bloodthirsty killer-snowman. It looks a bit like a Full Moon or Troma release and gladly doesn't take itself too seriously.

What's good:

Jack Frost is a wonderfully iconic horror character. He constantly delivers brilliantly funny one-liners ("Look Ma, I'm a Picasso!" / "Is it cold in here or is it just me?" / "I'm the world's most pissed-off snow cone!"), his kills are absolutely fabulous (axe-handle into throat, baubles in mouth, icicle into forehead) and IMO he just looks gorgeous!

The acting is pretty solid (especially Christopher Allport and F. William Parker) the cinematography is nice, the soundtrack is neat, and scenes like the antifreeze-finale or the carrot-rape-scene made me LOL a lot.

 

What's bad:

The pacing is pretty lame, especially in the first half, there is definitely not enough tension or suspense and the direction is quite mediocre. Some of the humor falls flat and the Christmassy soundtrack is at times a bit annoying.

Overall, funny and enjoyable b-movie trash.

Wiki ~ Imdb

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JACK FROST 2: REVENGE OF THE MUTANT KILLER SNOWMAN

German Title:
Jack Frost 2 - Die Rache des Killerschneemanns

USA, 2000
Director: Michael Cooney

5/10

Surprise, surprise: "Jack Frost 2" is far better than I expected. I mean... the movie is dumb, VERY dumb and due to some VERY low budget, it looks just terrible. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

What's good:

It's completely over-the-top compared to the first part. Nearly every character is totally bonkers and outrageously dorky, most notably Christopher Allport who completely loses his mind, the superfunny Colonel Hickering (Ray Cooney) and the uber-jerk Captain Fun (Sean Patrick Murphy).
Jack Frost is as hilarious as in Part 1, his murderous Gremlins-like killer-snowballs are just gorgeous and the kills are mostly pretty nice.

What's bad:
Again, there's hardly any tension or suspense. The look of the whole movie is plain awful, due to the low budget, poor production values and TV-movie-like cinematography. The CGI effects all look horrendous (especially the gore) and the plot is simply bad.

Recommended to fans of cheap z-grade cinema only!

Wiki ~ Imdb

XMAS

Grrr, my Webcam sucks and my video upload skills are terrible

Nevertheless, this is for you my fellow bloggers! :-)

Oh btw, I already got my first Christmas present:

Thanx to CineMarvellous for giving me the absolutely outstanding Necronomicon Award!!!

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MERRY XMAS!!!!!

SANTA'S SLAY

SANTA'S SLAY

Alternate German Title:
Santa's Slay - Blutige Weihnachten

Canada / USA, 2005

Director: David Steiman

7/10

Ho Ho Hooray! It's "Santa's Slay", a silly but incredibly entertaining Xmas-horror-comedy, about as entertaining as "Silent Night "Deadly Night" or the "Black Christmas" reboot.

It has its flaws (an underwhelming ending, some awful-looking CGI), but overall it's just one helluva fun.

Wrestling star Bill Goldberg is absolutely hilarious as demonic Santa. He looks awesome, his kills are all terrific (especially the outstanding opening scene where he kills off an entire Christmas dinner in less than 2 minutes, incl. Fran Drescher who gets drowned in eggnog and James Caan who gets his hands stabbed to the table with steak knives),

and he constantly delivers super-funny one-liners (I laughed my ass of when he's in the strip club, shouting out "Ho Ho... [topless girl passes by] ...HOES!"). 

The other actors are also pretty cool, especially Douglas Smith and Emilie de Ravin as lovely teen couple, and Robert Culp as crazy grandfather. The script is tight, the camera work is neat and the punk-rockin' soundtrack is really cool.

 
Other highlights:

The fabulous stop-motion curling scene, the 'Hell Deer', the nutcracker-gun, the poor deli owner who gets killed with his own menorah and Ms. Green, the 'pleasant old lady' ("Oh, you being cute, you little shit." / "You're just as looney as your crackpot grandfather." / "Go fuck yourself. What a fucking whore.").

Overall, a highly amusing must-see Xmas flick that will entertain the shit out of you!

Wiki ~ Imdb

BLACK CHRISTMAS (Original & Remake)

BLACK CHRISTMAS

Alternate Titles:
Stranger In The House / Silent Night, Evil Night

German Title:
Jessy - Die Treppe in den Tod

Canada, 1974
Director: Bob Clark

5/10

"Black Christmas" is an extremely popular movie among horror fans. It's considered as one of the very, very first slasher movies, and one of the greatest Xmas-themed horror films of all time

- but why? I really, really don't know. Seen it twice and both times it didn't do anything for me.

Large parts of the movie are unsuspenseful, without any tension and boring beyond belief, especially in the first hour. It's packed with bland and uninteresting scenes where people walk and talk almost endlessly in and around sororities and police stations. The soundtrack is dull, the kills are lame, the supposed-to-be-unsettling phone calls are plain annoying and the ending, as interesting as it is, just disappointed me.

Also, I hated how full of unanswered questions and possible plot holes the whole thing is (what's with the missing bodies? why did no-one check the attic? why did no-one hear the killer when he screamed into the phone? how could Peter know that Jess was in the basement? what's with the cat?).

At least, the last 30-40 minutes are really thrilling, most of the acting is fabulous (a wonderful Olivia Hussey, a terrific Keir Dullea, a cool John Saxon, a highly amusing Margot Kidder and a hilarious Marian Waldman), it's beautifully filmed, the interiors look gorgeous and I laughed my ass of at one-liners like:

"Why don't you go find a wall socket and stick your tongue in it? That will give you a charge!"

"Next time you're gonna get the gun up your ass! Sideways!!"

"Did you know that there is a certain species of turtle that can screw for 3 days without stopping? (...) No, really. They just... 3 days, 24 hours a day... wha-voom, wha-voom, wha-voom! Can you believe that? I'm lucky if I get 3 minutes."

Nevertheless, I'm definitely no fan of "Black Christmas". IMO it's one of the most overrated horror movies of all time, and I think that the quite similar "Silent Night, Bloody Night" is far more effective.

Wiki ~ Imdb

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BLACK CHRISTMAS
(Remake)

Alternate Title:

Black X-Mas

Canada / USA, 2006

Director: Glen Morgan

7/10

Fans and admirers of the original will probably hate me for this, but I can't help it... I fuckin' love the 2006 reboot! It's super-hilarious and one helluva fun!

I can understand why so many people hate it. I mean, it shows almost no respect to the 1974 original, and it also has not much to do with it - but guess what? Right, that's exactly why I love it so much :-)

First of all, it's entertaining from beginning to end without ever getting boring. There are lots of really tense and super-thrilling scenes (opening kill, asylum scene, all the flashbacks, the attic fire, the hospital showdown...), lots of creepy moments and a few cool jump scares, but also many funny scenes, amusing dialogue lines ("I'd like to bury the hatchet with my sister... right in her head." / "Santa's not coming for you. He was shot down by the Russians." / "Fuck Christmas. Just fuck it.")

and some delightful acting performances (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Andrea Martin, Karin Konoval).

The whole movie looks absolutely stunning, thanks to some terrific production design (a gorgeous-looking sorority with eerie rooms and hallways and a creepy attic), fantastic Christmas decorations and some ace camera work.

 I also love how they reworked the original storyline by adding a brilliant and amusing backstory for the highly disturbed killer and his equally disturbed sister, his abusive idiot-mother and his alocholic idiot-stepfather.

Best of all, it's brutal... holy mistletoe, how gory and brutal it is! We get to see a shitload of disgusting eye gougings, many stabbed or eaten eyes, decapitations, slit throats, death by candy cane, death by icicle, one woman beaten to death with a dough roller, one woman's head cut in two with an ice-skate, etc. etc.

Gore and splatter fans will absolutely love it!

Other memorable scenes:

- Mother rapes her own son because Dad's too drunk to fuck.

- The killer rips pieces of flesh from his dead mother's body with a cookie cutter, and puts them into the oven. Later, he eats the 'flesh cookies' together with a delicious glass of milk.

Ok, the character development is pretty weak, there are some highly illogical pot points and it's often a bit too over-edited, but besides that, it's a freaky awesome and highly enjoyable Xmas bloodbath. Pity they never made a sequel to it.

Wiki ~ Imdb

SAINT (2010)

SAINT

Original Title:
Sint

Alternate Title:
Saint Nick

Netherlands, 2010
Director: Dick Maas

7/10

After a few dull years, he's finally back: Ducth director Dick Maas, the creator of the infamous "Flodder" family, the 80s classic "Amsterdamned" (which I haven't seen in a very long time) and silly cheese like the 2 killer-elevator flicks "The Lift" & "Down".

 
His newest movie is a well-written, well-paced and wonderfully diverting oldschool horror comedy about the bloodthirsty bishop Sinterklaas (= Saint Nicholas) and his helpers (the Zwarte Pieten = Black Petes) who, whenever there's a full moon on 5th December, rise from the dead and haunt the streets of Amsterdam to kill as many children as possible.

"Saint" is fun, big fun. It's full with amusing characters, played by solid actors, who constantly deliver amusing dialogue and one-liners
("I'm writing a poem for my dad. What rhymes with prostate?" /

"Jasper told me that St. Nicholas puts all the naughty children into his bag and takes them to Spain." - "That's nice. Then this year we'll finally get rid of Jasper.").

There's also loads of nice-looking gore, many super-suspenseful scenes (opening scene at the farm, the stunning scene in the children's home) and a few cool nods to genre classics like "The Fog", "Halloween" or "Poltergeist".

The foggy sea and the snowy landscapes are visually stunning, the soundtrack is extremely rousing and the editing is just excellent.

Ok, there are way too many mediocre-looking CGI effects and the premise may be a bit silly, but apart from that, "Saint" is a fabulous holiday horror film and a wonderful comeback of one of Europe's most original mainstream directors.

By the way, believe it or not: this is Huub Stapel, 
better known as Johnny Flodder!!

Wiki ~ Imdb

"SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT" (Chilling Classics 50 Movies Pack, #25)

SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT

Alternate Titles:
Night Of The Dark Full Moon / Death House

German Title:
Blutnacht - Das Haus des Todes / Haus des Todes

USA, 1974
Director: Theodore Gershuny

6/10

"Silent Night, Bloody Night" (not to be confused with the "Silent Night, Deadly Night" franchise) is a quite enjoyable little low-budget 70s chiller that strongly reminds me of the works of S.F. Brownrigg and the good old gothic horror flicks with Michael Gough.

Pros:

There's a certain creepiness all over the movie which is just brilliant. Eerie shots of an old mansion, haunting hallways and a few really scary scenes. Gershon Kingsley's Herrmann-esque soundtrack is just amazing, especially due to a fantastic minor-key version of 'Silent Night'.

Apart from some good acting performances (James Patterson, John Carradine) and a fabulous-looking sepia-colored flashback-scene, the movie's absolute highlight is the totally unpredictable and surprisingly gory plot twist after the first half hour, which is about as shocking as the shower scene in "Psycho".

Cons:

The plot is too muddled and confusing, there are way too many unanswered questions and annoying plot holes, the script is pretty mediocre and quite badly paced, and Gershuny's direction often feels completely shiftless.

Furthermore, a few actors deliver lame and really unconvincing performances (especially Mary Woronov and Fran Stevens), and the disappointing ending feels rushed and incomplete.

 Not a must-see, but definitely worth a look, especially for oldschool horror buffs.

Wiki ~ Imdb

CHRISTMAS EVIL

CHRISTMAS EVIL

Alternate Titles:
You Better Watch Out / Terror In Toyland

German Title:
Teuflische Weihnachten

USA, 1980
Director: Lewis Jackson

7,5/10

Holy Santa! Just when I thought there are no more good Xmas horror flicks, I stumbled upon "Christmas Evil", a pretty underrated an overseen, but highly impressive 'seasonal' horror thriller.

I originally expected this to be some kinda holiday slasher, but surprisingly it turned out to be a psychological horror-drama, a bit in the vein of the depressing "Don't Go In The House".

Brandon Maggart plays the poor loner Harry who's totally obsessed with Christmas and slowly goes insane - and he delivers one of the greatest and most intense acting performances of the 80s. The way he looks, the way he acts, his facial expressions, his maniacal laughter - wonderful, just wonderful!

'Highlight' is the scene where he super-glues a Santa beard to his face; a stunning and pretty disturbing scene.
Other highlights: the sequence where Harry tries to slide down the chimney and the very last scene which totally makes you forget about the 'moon bike ride' in "E.T.", I promise!

Furthermore, the movie looks absolutely wonderful. Plenty of eerie shots, loads of dark and gritty atmosphere, cool cinematography and a few very well designed set pieces (f.e. the illuminated Christmas garden, the toy factory, Harry's house). 

The soundtrack is creepy, the editing is terrific and the rest of the cast also delivers solid performances (incl. Patricia "Home Improvement" Richardson in a minor role).

If you prefer your Xmas horror gory and funny, I suggest you to watch "Silent Night, Deadly Night 1 & 2" instead, but if you're open minded and enjoy movies about 'tickin' timebombs' (f.e. "Taxi Driver", "The Fan", "Driller Killer"), this is a must-see!

Wiki ~ Imdb

DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS

DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS

Alternate Title:
Don't Open 'Til Christmas

German Title:
Fröhliche Weihnacht

UK, 1984

Director: Edmund Purdom

7/10

A big YAY for one of my favorite Christmas slashers of all time: "Don't Open Till Christmas", a goofy but incredibly entertaining British horror flick about an insane killer who kills off people in Santa Claus costumes during Christmas season in London.

The budget was very low, the production took more than 2 years and there were 3 directors needed to finish the film - despite all these problems, the end product is surprisingly pretty cool and hilarious (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally).

There's nothing special about the acting, though I really enjoyed the quite creepy performances of Alan Lake and especially Edmund Purdom who's well-known to horror fans for his memorable roles in "Absurd" and "Pieces" (btw: "Don't Open Till Christmas" was produced by Dick Randall & Stephen Minasian, the producers of "Pieces"!).

The whole movie is incredibly atmospheric and tense, with a few breathtakingly suspensful scenes (check out the scenes in the London Dungeon and in the Piccadilly Theatre). The camera work is nice, the settings look great and the soundtrack, a mix of gloomy 80s synths, pompous classical music and silly pop tunes, is just fabulous.

Highlights: next to the killer's creepy masks, some gorgeous nudity, a nice Caroline Munro cameo, funny opening credits and an 'explosive' twist ending, 

we get to see a shitload of really amazing kills. Slit throats, stabbed bellies, stabbed chests, poked out eye, machete in the face, spear through the head, a roasted face and (best of all) a ludicrous castration in a public urinal.

A superb holiday-horror-movie, highly recommend to fans of slashers and 80s cheese in general.

Wiki ~ Imdb

Oh btw, check out the German cover (Fröhliche Weihnacht = Merry Christmas) which looks a tit... err, a bit better IMO :-D