MAYNARD'S TOP 10 WORST
HORROR / HORROR-RELATED MOVIES 2011
#10
Markus Welter's ONE WAY TRIP 3D
Switzerland / Austria, 2011
Imagine "Shrooms" in 3D, in Switzerland
and full of the most idiotic characters you can imagine
and you get the idea.
#9
Antti Jokinen's THE RESIDENT
UK / USA, 2011
Finally, a cure for insomnia:
"The Resident", one of the most boring and
most uninteresting movies I've seen in a very.long time.
#8
Lucky McKee's THE WOMAN
USA, 2011
Hi, I'm Lucky McKee and I made
some ugly and uber-violent jerk-off material
for sadists because I'm so cool.
#7
Craig Gillespie's FRIGHT NIGHT (Reboot)
USA, 2011
Just another completely unnecessary
and horribly dumb remake
that disrespects and shits on the original.
#6
Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.'s THE THING (Prequel/Reboot/Whatever)
USA / Canada, 2011
A pretty annoying and unoriginal CGI-fest
an insult to John Carpenter, an insult to horror-fans
and an insult to fans of the original.
#5
Jed Weintrob'sSCAR
USA, 2007/2010
A stupid movie for stupid people
who adore Eli Roth and think that "Saw"
is the best horror franchise evah.
#4
Jonathan Liebesman'sBATTLE LOS ANGELES
USA, 2011
One of the best movie trailers of the year
turned out to be one the shittiest alien-invasion movies
of all time. Thank you Mr. Liebesman for giving me
one of the worst in-theater-experiences of my life.
#3
Jacques-Olivier Molon & Pierre-Olivier TheveninHUMANS
(Humains)
France / Switzerland, 2009
An inhumanly terrible movie about neanderthals,
made by Neanderthals, made for neanderthals.
Worst French horror flick I've seen so far.
#2
Aharon Keshales & Navot Papushado'sRABIES
(Kalevet)
Israel, 2010
The very first slasher flick made in Israel
and hopefully the last. How stupid, unfunny
and ugly-looking can a movie actually be?
#1
Tim Sullivan's2001 MANIACS: FIELD OF SCREAMS
USA, 2010
Part 1 was already pretty bad, but the sequel...
my goodness, what a stinking piece of crap!
This movie is so terrible, so embarrassing,
so fucking imbecile, it makes me vomit.
This movie is a weapon of mass destruction
and director Sullivan should not be allowed to
ever, EVER direct another movie. Period.
Honorable Mentions: LAKE PLACID 3 / PROWL / SHARK NIGHT 3D
TOP 5 BIGGEST HORROR DISAPPOINTMENTS 2011
#5
Matt Reeves'LET ME IN ("Let The Right One In" Remake)
USA / UK, 2010
A well-made and good-looking but completely pointless
remake and incredibly overrated reboot. What's with all the
praise? Stephen King called it 'the best US horror film in the
last 20 years' - seriously, WTF???
#4
Wes Craven'sSCREAM 4 - USA 2011
/ MY SOUL TO TAKE - USA 2010
What a comeback - 2 new Craven flicks
and both are utterly disappointing.
"Scream 4" is a huuuge letdown and
"My Soul To Take" is probably his weakest movie to date.
#3
John Carpenter'sTHE WARD
USA, 2010
Again, what a comeback...
9 years after the horrid "Ghosts Of Mars",
Carpenter strikes again with another
really, really underwhelming horror movie.
#2
J.J. Abrams'SUPER 8
USA, 2011
I'm ok with ripping off Spielberg
as long as it's done right - and SUPER 8 is not done right.
#1
Quentin Dupieux' RUBBER
France 2010
'Rubber' Teaser Trailer - Extremely amazing.
'Rubber' Trailer - Amazing.
'Rubber' Film - Not amazing at all.
A dumb and tiresome artsy-fartsy rubbish,
about as flat as Quentin Dupieux' a.k.a. Mr. Oizo's 'Flat Beat'.
WORST ALBUMS 2011
1. Lou Reed & Metallica - "LULU"
2. Dredg - "CHUCKLES & MR: SQZEAZY"
3. Coldplay - MYLO XYLOTO
WORST SONGS 2011
1. Rebecca Black - "FRIDAY"
2. Lady Gaga - "BORN THIS WAY"
3. Kreayshawn - "GUCCI GUCCI"
Oh btw, I wanted to make a Worst Non-horror list but surprisingly I didn't watch any bad non-horror-flicks. The only one that really disappointed me was "Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game Of Shadows" which is faaaaaaar from being as terrific as the original. Part 1 - 9/10. Part 2 - 5/10.
Posts
The Woman,Rubber should be given a second thought:) Other than that the remaining list pretty worse;)
ReplyDeleteWhile I generally agree with all of your sentiments here I do think a bit of perspective is required when talking about remakes. Those movies aren't made for you. They're made for an audience that has not and never will see the original. I imagine that is a completely different experience than that of someone who has seen the originals, sometimes many times. Something like Let Me In or Fright Night is bound work better for the uninitiated.
ReplyDelete@Depresso:
ReplyDeleteNo chance, I won't suffer through Woman & Rubber another time :)
LOL I love your sentiments on a lot of these. But you already know I disagree with you on a couple of things. We brilliant minds do not always have the same opinion and that is why I love coming here. Thank you for taking a blow to the head for me on most of these.;)
ReplyDelete@Anon:
ReplyDeleteExactly, they weren't made for me, although I wanted them to be made for me.
Sorry but I'm not interested in an audience that doesn't know the originals. I grew up with that stuff and it's impossible for me to watch these remakes without comparing.
By the way, I'm not an anti-remake-guy. Remakes can be good when they manage to be true to the original, AND be inventive, intelligent and original at the same time.
I loved the Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark remake, I love stuff like TCM prequel or the US Ring remake.
Remakes can be good, even for me - but Thing and Fright Night aren't good at all IMO.
@melissa:
ReplyDeleteLOL, I guess you're right with the brilliant minds ;-)
Yeah, I think that's the whole point of that film-blogging. Someone says something about a film, and people who agree/disagree are invited to discuss or leave comments - or create their own blogs if they want.
I'm still disappointed with Rubber, the trailer promised me something a lot better than what it actually delivered.
ReplyDeleteExactly. The trailer looked like a blend of Scanners and some David Lynch Nightmare.
ReplyDeleteThe movie itself was some muddled, narcisstic and extremely dissatisfying arts-fartsy-mindfuck-rubbish that didn't do anything for me.
Harry, I won't even bother commenting on these lists, because I'm pissed off by most of your choices. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, what Stephen King said is close to the truth.
The one I agree with you about is The Woman. Couldn't stand that piece of crap.
I disagree on a few (Super 8 was my favorite film of 2011) but will agree that Carpenter's film was awful. What went wrong with him?
ReplyDeleteAnother great list, with only one disagreement - I liked Scream 4 - liked, not loved - and bless your heart for finding Super 8 as lackluster as I did. I WAS those kids in 1979 - making Super 8 movies as a pre-teen - and the movie absolutely did NOT capture the time as far as being a young filmmaker went. It could have, but that stupid alien intruded, and the movie just became this bland Spielberg pastiche. Bleh.
ReplyDeleteBut I will throw in with everybody wondering what's happened to Carpenter - I haven't seen The Ward, but Ghosts of Mars was TERRIBLE.
Let's hope 2012 is so full of good movies you won't even be able to do this post next year!
@Neb:
ReplyDeleteHaha, I assumed that you wouldn't like it :)
Omg yeah, The Woman - undoubtedly the most overrated movie of the year.
@Alex:
Oh I don't know. It seems as if he's really lost it which is sad. Not much hope for any of his upcoming projects.
@Craig:
ReplyDeleteThank you Craig!
I was really pumped for Scream 4 but I ended up pretty disappointed.
Oh, Super 8... on one hand I understand why so many people love it (that retro-Spielberg-feeling), on the other hand I don't understand it at all. The movie was totally boring, the script sucked, the alien looked lame and there were just way too many open/unanswered questions and plot holes. A shame.
The Ward is better than Ghosts Of Mars but far from being a true masterpiece.
Have you seen the 2 episodes he did for Masters Of Horror, Cigarette Burns & Pro-Life? My goodness, that's what we want in a Carpenter film - originality, tension, grim atmosphere and depressing endings.
Haha, I admit I like compiling Worst-Lists, so in this case I hope will see lots of crappy horror-shit this year :D
I really like the Woman and I enjoyed Rabies, but I completely agree with you when it comes to The Ward.
ReplyDeleteI actually wanted to see One Way Trip, to show my support for Austrian film etc but I missed it. But if it was anything like Sennentuntschi, I'm glad I did. Now that was a bad film.
Horror movies always disappoint me anymore... except for Orphan. That one kept me up for a week. lol
ReplyDeleteSuper * was ok but I agree, it could've been better... I mean, really? The same old Alien style alien? I was expecting something fresher.
Harry, I was even afraid to look at these lists. LOL. I liked Battle LA, Super 8, The Thing, but mostly Let Me In.
ReplyDeleteThought the Resident was watchable as well. Stupid, but watchable.
I'd have liked to see My Soul to Take on your Worst list, because it was pretty dreadful.
@Kalafudra:
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, The Ward really was a stinker.
I thought the same but in the end it wasn't worth it. I expected something in the vein of In 3 Tagen Bist Du Tot, but in the end was just a superlame and unoriginal Shrooms rip-off.
Haven't seen Sennentuntschi yet but I plan on watching it sometime in the next few weeks. Really, that bad? Oh fuck.
@Pk:
ReplyDeleteLOL yeah, Orphan is pretty awesome!
Yeah, that Super 8 alien was incredibly lame. I also expected something fresher, more original.
@George:
ReplyDeleteLet me In wasn't a bad movie, it just didn't had the same impact on me as the original.
I almost fell asleep during The Resident. Whta aborefest.
My Soul To Take was lame indeed, but at least it had some beautiful visuals and the first 30-40 minutes were pretty cool.
Add me to the Pro Super 8 crowd, I just saw it a few nights ago and liked it a lot. Then again I had no plans of actually seeing it, so i had no expectations going in.
ReplyDeleteHaha, well I love my Eli Roth so I might like Scar however I can proudly say that I don't think the Saw franchise was the best ever, haha! Anyways, with what I have seen on your worst list I can absolutely agree! In particular, The Resident was just HORRIBLE and The Ward pissed me off because I was waiting and hoping for AT LEAST an awesome ending and of course that wasn't the case. It's too bad because first off it's a John Carpenter film and Amber Heard was in it.
ReplyDelete@Shit Movie:
ReplyDeleteLucky you. The trailer looked awesome and I was really pumped for it, but in the theater I nearly fell asleep.
@Nicole:
Nope, I'm sure you won't. Imagine Hostel made by a bunch of untalented film students and you get the idea.
YES, The Resident was a terrible snoozefest. And The Ward... well, looks like Carpenter has really lost it. Amber was ok but she couldn't save it.