25 June 2013

Project Terrible: ZOMBIE WEREWOLVES ATTACK!

The last few months were a bit crazy and I had so much stuff to do, I couldn't participate in Round 10 of Mondo Bizarro's delightfully dreadful "Project Terrible". Fortunately, things have settled down and now I'm finally back
for some serious crap.
Round 11 is small. We're only 4 contributors this time, which means I only had to watch 3 movies (ok, 4 because there will be a bonus flick *surprise*), but wow: this time it was really, really bad. I daresay this was the worst round so far  =)

Let's start with Alec (Mondo Bizarro): he gave me a tremendously Troma-tizing piece of shit that's sadly faaaar worse than I thought it would be. Revenge will be mine: I gave him the 1981 rubbish "The Demon" which could be considered as the cinematic equivalent of Valium xD

ZOMBIE WEREWOLVES ATTACK!

Canada, 2009
Director: Chris Green

2/10











Ugh, that was tough to watch. Don't get fooled by the hilarious cover and the badass title: "Zombie Werewolves Attack!" is a stunningly dumb, incredibly lame and hardly watchable no-budget flick about a bunch of stupid stoners and an oh-so-tough werewolf-hunter, fighting against a pack of werewolves.


The movie was obviously made by a young, unexperienced director and a couple of his friends. Well, that's okay and I'm sure they had a great time filming it - but that doesn't help making me enjoy it. I've seen my fair share of ultra-indie horror-films, and this is surely one of the worst so far.

A bunch of non-actors (and Kim Sønderholm who seems to 'star' in everything that has "indie", "horror" and "no money" written all over it) stumbling through an embarassingly bad non-script, delivering tons of unfunny and annoying dialogue lines, while they get chased by some of the worst-looking werewolf-like creatures I've ever seen. Also: horrid-looking non-effects, poor camera work and terribly amateurish non-editing.


The opening credits are cool, the soundtrack rocks and there are at least a few pretty hilarious lines:
(Indian guy) "I bought this fucking computer from here and it has not been working since the day I bought it. I brought it in here before... and one of you fuckers fucked it up."
(stoner) "If a guy had a gun and put it to your head... would you suck his dick, or would you take the bullet?"
- but that's about it. Zombie Werewolves suck.

8 comments:

  1. Well, uh, don't know what to say about that except if I ever see it in the bargain bin, I'll steer clear. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, that's why I'm here for: I watch all the crap, so you don't have to :)

      Delete
  2. In spite of that, I still think that Bob was worse to you.

    For once, I'm the lesser of two evils. It feels...weird. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, he was much worse to me - and yes, it does feel weird :D

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. I've seen worse, but... yeah, pretty bad indeed =)

      Delete
  4. Man... that looks bad. I'll have to check it out :)

    ReplyDelete

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