10 November 2013

Project Terrible: "SUCKER: THE VAMPIRE"

Yeeha, PROJECT TERRIBLE is back in the house! This is now the 12th round of PT, and the 10th round for me. Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither. 10 rounds of crappy movies. Well done, Maynard.

Last round in June was really, really terrible: 4 movies, two of them got a 0/10. Highest rating: 2,5/10. My fellow bloggers seemed to feel sorry for me, so this time they gave me a few nice and enjoyable surprises. Prepare for a week of terrible movies that aren't so terrible *yay* :)

Starting off today with the movie I've got from
Alec (Mondo Bizarro):


Alternate Title:

USA, 1998
Director Hans Rodionoff


"Sucker: The Vampire" is the directorial debut of Hans Rodionoff, screenwriter of b-flicks like "Man-Thing", "The Skulls II" and both "The Lost Boys" sequels, and it was produced / distributed by Troma Entertainment. I wouldn't say that this is a good movie, but I surprisingly enjoyed it way more than I expected or wanted.

The story is silly but entertaining, interesting and slightly original: Anthony, modern-day vampire and frontman of a popular rockband, and his somewhat dumb and highly necrophiliac assistant Reed, they both lead an almost perfect life. Anthony constantly fucks, kills and sucks the blood out of hot, big-boobed girls - Reed dresses up the corpses, fucks them and eventually disposes the bodies. But then super-hawt vampire killer Vanessa Van Helsing comes along and infects both of them with AIDS...

As cool as the plot is, the movie could have been way better if done in a more serious tone, and not in that wacky over-the-top tone that can't decide between comedy, parody, classic vampire horror and comedy-drama. Also, the pacing is horrible, a few scenes are terribly boring, several characters are annoying, and it's sooo unnerving to hear Reed singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" off-key all the time

That said, the overall performance of Alex Erkiletian as Reed is pretty hilarious, especially the scene where he's making photos together with one of the corpses. Also decent: Monica Baber (Van Helsing), Yan Birch (Anthony), the super-gorgeous Colleen Moore who's madly in love with Reed, and Harvey J. Alperin as awkward doctor. The cinematography is surprisingly gorgeous and the lighting is just fabulous. Lots of hot girls & sexy boobs, and some really kewl tunes by At The Drive-In, Groovy Ghoulies and Blue Meanies.

Recommended to fans of trashy vampire flicks and Troma productions in general.

Oh btw, a prop of good ol' Pumpkinhead has a small cameo here!


  1. Just to be clear: I wasn't trying to be nice.

    It is just really hard to predict what you will hate. I will just try to aim for stuff that I know is really, really Terrible next time.

    Your non-hatred of Troma continues to baffle me.

    1. Oh, I know, but it almost feels like your really tried to be nice ;-) :-P

      Yes, I know how hard it is, but... well, that's the way it is. I had a great time with "Sucker" and I even would watch it a second time. Yes, it's that fun!

      Why? Troma is mostly all about fun and entertainment. Yes, they produced/distributed many, many real stinkers, but they were also responsible for some damn cool stuff, especially Kaufman's flicks, or recent stuff like Father's Day or The Taint.

  2. If all else fails, you're getting this next time: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2378567/?ref_=nv_sr_2

    You know that I'm not bluffing. ;-)

    1. I'd watch them both. Haven't seen any gay horror flicks in a long time :D

  3. Wait, what? I read your plot description and was pretty well flabbergasted. That sounds like shit, but you still liked it? Man, you really are a tough to pick for for PT!! I will definitely look harder next time, too...

    1. It was really enjoyable, a forgetable but pretty funny b-flick.

  4. The King of Project Terrible now and forever! (I understand why I'm no longer invited - having said no to like five rounds - but I still felt a little zap when I saw this new round's posts starting...)

    1. I'm not the one who does the invites. Get in touch with Alec!


Total Pageviews