15 December 2014

SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT: THE HOMECOMING

SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT:
THE HOMECOMING

German Title:
Stille Nacht - Blutige Nacht

UK, 2013
Director: James Plumb

1/10







North Bank Entertainment is a British film company specializing in shooting shitty lowest-budget releasing them witch super-catchy covers under super-catchy titles, capitalizing on popular film titles, like "Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection" (semi-remake of George A. Romero's "Night of the Living Dead") or "The Amityville Asylum" (semi-spin-off of "The Amityville Horror").

Their newest trickery is this cinematic piece of turd: "Silent Night, Bloody Night: The Homecoming", an unbelievably unimaginative, horribly made and overall completely aggravating rehash of Theodore Gershuny's 70s classic "Silent Night, Blood Night" (Review here).

Compared to the original which is a creepy and tense little gothic-style chiller, the remake fails on every single level. Apart from the obvious fact that there's nothing remotely tense, scary or entertaining, it's also shoddily edited, terribly filmed (horrid camera angles, an overload of ugly close-ups), terribly lit
and full of laughable-looking gore, makeup and CGI effects, and ridiculously un-erotic sex scenes.


The story of the original (which made perfect sense) was changed into an incoherent and feeble-minded mess that makes no goddamn sense at all. The acting ranges from ridiculous (Alan Humphreys) to plain abysmal (Sabrina Dickens). The pacing is yawnably slow, the killer's mask looks unintentionally hilarious and - worst of all - "Friday the 13th"-legend Adrienne King's performance as "the killer's voice" is so bad, it's disturbing. Horror site "A Slash Above" nailed it by describing her vocal performance as: "(...) King shows how rusty she is by sounding like an amateur dramatics group cast her off after the first audition." Believe me: it's that bad!

Aside from some okay-looking gore, "Silent Night, Bloody Night: The Homecoming" is a horrible film in every possible way. Avoid!!!

8 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. You should hear this, Craig. It's shocking and depressing how bad she is...

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  2. And that's three reviews of how sucky this film is: Homecoming, yer out of my list...or not, I dunno...

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    Replies
    1. If you have nothing else to do, check it out. Otherwise: give a crap about it.

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  3. From the people that brought us 'Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection?' That's all I need to know to avoid this one at all costs.

    Hopefully, my obscure Christmas tale will be better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haven't seen that one yet, but... well, the next round of PT is coming soon. Keep that one in mind ;)

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  4. Funny how it took this long to remake, since the original is one of the few slasher(-ish) films in public domain, so anyone can do whatever the Hell they want with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed! No one bothered shooting SNBN sequels or remakes until now. The original actually possesses lots of franchise-potential!

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