30 January 2015

DESECRATED

DESECRATED

USA, 2015
Director: Rob Garcia

3/10











With that title and that cover, I expected this to be another run-of-the-mill slasher flick - though actually, it's more of a California-based paint-by-numbers ripoff of "Wolf Creek", not so much in terms of eerie atmosphere and brutality, but definitely in terms of people coming to a secluded location where a nice, helpful and unsuspicious guy, who is actually a cold-blooded psychopath, kills them off one by one - in this case, a couple of rich kids who spend the weekend on an isolated ranch where they come into conflict with the caretaker, an ex-marine who takes 'propery protection' a bit too serious...


The rich kids are so fucking annoying, it's ridiculous. To say that they're all unlikable is an understatement. A bunch of stupid, obnoxious and/or unbearable spoiled brats. I hated them all so much, I just wanted them to be dead. Thankfully, they "desecrate" a place that is sacred to the wacky caretaker, and before one can say Mick Taylor, the caretaker goes into killing mode and takes care of all these douchebags. Good.

"Desecrated" delivers not one bit of originality or good filmmaking. There's hardly any suspense or tension, the pacing is way too dull, most of the acting is rather weak, the writing is lame, the direction is amateurish, there's nothing special about cinematography, music or editing, the settings look unremarkable... yada, yada, yada. I could go on and on. There's simply nothing that stands out or grabs your attention or makes you go "Wow!"...


...nothing - except for Gonzalo Menendez, not just the only capable actor in this lamefest, but also the only one who's able to give a performance that is so entertaining, it actually enhances the movie. Okay, he's not the most talented actor out there, but he's the only one here who at least tries. His character Ben is a disturbed and sociopathic psychopath, but he is so cool and charming, I just had to root for him. I cheered whenever he murdered one of these dumbfucks, be it sniper-like with a shotgun or with a landmine.
He also delivers many amusing lines, like: "I see you! One wrong step around here, darling, and you are gonna go Boom!" or "I do not like assclowns. You are an assclown. Shut up."


Oh btw, I forgot to mention that the great Michael Ironside is in here too, but only for a couple of minutes, adding nothing to "Desecrated". Final verdict: quite a disaster, but thanks to Gonzalo Menendez, a bearable one.

Imdb

Thanks to October Coast Publicity for the screener!

4 comments:

  1. You're watching your fair share of rubbish films, lately :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm perfectly okay with that. Rubbish reviews are easier to write ;)

      Delete
  2. * Arrive home
    * Turn on computer
    * Browse the websites in my favorites list
    * One of the very first ones I go to has a negative review for the very film I just bought on my way home right there on the front page
    * :/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoops!
      That's the definition of "Shit happens", I guess...

      Delete

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