13 February 2015



UK / USA, 2014
Director: Michael G. Bartlett


After making three found footage flicks in a row together with his filmmaking partner Kevin Gates ("Zombie Diaries 1+2", "Paranormal Diaries: Clophill"), Michael G. Bartlett assumingly tried to break free from the routine and created his very first 'solo film' "Treehouse" which follows two teenage brothers who discover an old treehouse in the woods where a young girl hides from an unknown evil force that tries to kill her...

"Treehouse" isn't the most boring film I've ever seen, but it's probably the slowest one. You can't imagine how unbelievably slooooooooow it is. There are several scenes and dialogue parts that are so dull and lengthy, I had to up the speed on my VLC player which almost makes the movie more bearable... almost!
People talk faster (but it's all perfectly comprehensible), the music is more uptempo, the ridiculously slow camera panning becomes a bit more swift etc. etc. - but does the speed-up make the movie better? Nope.

It starts out pretty neat with a damn creepy opening scene, some neat exposition and a well-developed treehouse discovery - but then, it goes downhill like an avalanche. Everything starts to slow down like crazy. Every scene / sequence that could have been at least remotely tense, quickly becomes boring as hell because... well, it's all dragged out so goddamn long, it's ludicrous.

Because of all that super-slow pacing, "Treehouse" fails to surprise you with what originally was supposed to be a clever twist: [SPOILER] what starts out as mere creature feature, suddenly becomes a creature-less survival movie in the vein of "Deliverance" or "Eden Lake". With quicker pacing and a shorter runtime of maybe about 80 minutes, this twist would have worked so well - but here, you barely recognise it... and you actually don't care about it.

What's else to say about it? Decent photography, couple of nice-looking locatiosn, good music, okay acting - though J. Michael Trautmann's performance was rather dreadful. Also, some irritating CGI fire smoke (why?) and an unnerving ending. Meh. Not recommended. Watch "The Zombie Diaries" instead.

Thanks to October Coast Publicity for the screener!


  1. Ah shame, it looked so promising too!

    Ha ha! * Gone to look up 'The Zombie Diaries' *

    1. Indeed! The poster looks terrific, but the movie is just meh.


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