24 March 2015

Project Terrible: DEATH RACERS

Alec (Mondo Bizarro) did it again. He gave me something really, really terrible, hateable and despisable... *sigh*


German Title:
Death Race 3000

USA, 2008
Director: Roy Knyrim


It's not the worst movie I have ever seen (that's still the unwatchable "Skeleton Key 2" and the even more unwatchable "Dating a Zombie"), but it comes very close. Holy racecar, now THIS is what I call terrible. "Death Racers", a lousy, imbecile and aggravating z-grade cash-in on Paul W.S. Anderson's excellently entertaining "Death Race" (2008), directed by some honk called Roy Knyrim... no, he's not a honk. He's actually a make-up & special effects artist who worked on countless horror films like "2001 Maniacs", "Trapped Ashes", "Toxic Avenger 2+3", "Wishmaster 2-4", "Children of the Corn 4-6", "Night of the Demons 3" etc. etc.

...but in terms of directing Knyrim is definitely a honk. And everyone else who was involved in creating this piece of garbage which revolves around a cross-country death race in a desolate city that was turned into a huge prison camp
("Escape from New York" anyone?). I'm actually surprised that this was produced by The Asylum. It doesn't look like your average Asylum production, more like something from Tony Watt or Bill Zebub.

The cast features untalented non-actors like WWE-star Scott Levy a.k.a "Raven", models Anya Benton and Teri Corcoran, Muay Thai KickBoxing World Champion Damien Puckler and.. erm. Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, better known as the Insane Clown Posse. I have nothing against ISP or their fans, the infamous Juggalos, but I sooo don't like their music - several of their songs get played throughout the movie OVER and OVER and OVER again! - and they obviously have no clue about acting. They're just posing, looking dumb, delivering stupid lines the entire fucking time. Annoying as snot on your sleeve.

All characters are idiots, the cars look shite and dialogue like "It's a Lotus, and it can go from 0 to 'Suck My Dick' in 4.1 seconds." could have worked in other movies, but here it's just awfully unfunny. The action scenes are all horribly edited and look just god-awful, the whole movie looks unbelievably tacky, especially the crappy CGI effects. Pacing is painfully dull, direction is dreadfully trite, and whenever I heard this ear-shattering voice screaming "DEATH RRRRRAAAAACE!!!!!" like a piss drunk hobo... I just wanted to cut off my ears.

"Death Racers" is a horrible, horrible movie and I beg you to avoid it at any cost. Thanks, Alec. You bastard.


  1. Yeah, that one eats.

    I still don't think that it is the worst Soundtrack I gave you this Round. We'll see.

    1. It IS the worst soundtrack of this round, and definitely one of the absolute worst soundtracks I've ever heard.

  2. This isn't even a case of so bad it's fun. It's an obnoxious, inept piece of crap


Total Pageviews