19 May 2015

INFERNAL

INFERNAL

USA, 2015
Director: Bryan Coyne

2/10











Look at the cover - what do you see? A child with a reversed cross on its forehead... oh-so-eerie bright light coming out of an open door... a generic looking creepy hand... an unimaginative title... a bland tagline...
basically, that's all you need to know about this rubbish-fest, but since I'm a nice guy and love to warn people about movies that aren't worth checking out, I'll give you some more information about it.

"Infernal", the first feature film of filmmaker Bryan Coyne (who co-produced the god-awful "The Human Race"), is just another frustratingly bad found footage flick with a well-trodden, worn out storyline, in this case, it's about a young couple's daughter who suddenly starts to act very weird, whilst strange phenomena start happening around the house.


The movie is 100 minutes long and drags, drags, drags. You could easily shorten it to 30 minutes and it would still suck, mainly because there's nothing original going on here, nothing suspenseful, nothing scary. The movie looks and feels as if Coyne is a massive fan of the "Paranormal Activity" franchise and simply wanted to make his very own PA-flick (similar-looking houses, slightly similar camera work, cameras all over the house, structure and build-up similar to the first three PA films...), but he obviously has no idea how these movies work and why these movies work so well (ever heard of talent?).

Even worse: he has absolutely no imagination. Everything here is rehashed from other movies: a possessed child with some kinda devil's mark on its head ("The Omen"), a room full of flying toys and stuff ("Poltergeist"), some more "Poltergeist"-y shots, various worn-out "Exorcist"-tropes like reversed crosses or priests trying to perform exorcisms, an attic with an "Amityville"-like window + various plot elements that seem to be 'borrowed' from "Devil's Due".


In addition, the acting is mediocre and all characters are unlikable; I didn't care for any of them. There's lots of laughable 'laugh sound effects", way too many scenes that make you ask "Why the fuck are they filming this? Why???", way too many unbelievably tedious dialogue sequences that go on for like forever, and the ending... ugh, nevermind.

The only things that I enjoyed: the scene with the above-mentioned reversed cross (cheesy scene, but it came out of nowhere and it looked fun), a brutal and unexpectedly shocking 'hammer-smashed face', and the hilarious scene where the girl names her new teddybear "Brandy", and when Daddy asks her why, she replies: "It's what Mommy drinks every night." Aside from that, "Infernal" is bad and definitely not worth seeing.

Imdb

Thanks to Ashleigh Davies & Clint Morris for the screener!

2 comments:

  1. I had no idea that this was at all related to 'The Human Race!' That explains alot, actually.

    It makes me wonder what the guy behind 'Episode 50' made before it now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, yeah, it definitely explains a lot :D To be fair, it's not as awful as Human Race.

      The guyS behind Episode 50 worked on a lotta shit beforehand, but haven't done much afterwards.

      Delete

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