04 June 2015

THE HOUSE WITH 100 EYES

THE HOUSE WITH 100 EYES

Alternate Title:
House with 100 Eyes

USA, 2013/2015
Directors: Jim Roof & Jay Lee

0/10








"The House with 100 Eyes"... what sounds like a Giallo flick from the 70s or 80s, is actually an inane piece of, erm, "found-footage torture-porn" that is such a fucking pain in the arse, it's really hard to write about it, mainly because this movie is so unbearably dumb and annoying, it almost killed off most of my brain cells.

The movie's basic premise sounds like a mix of "The Poughkeepsie Tapes" and "The Upper Footage": a documentary filmmaker receives an anonymous package containing unmarked videos and DVDs full of snuff footage and decides to make a film out of it. So far, so good - but where the above-mentioned movies tried to be unique and original, the two directors of "The House with 100 Eyes", Jim Roof & Jay Lee ("Alyce Kills"), didn't even try at all. All we get to see is a demented couple luring teens into their house, only to film, torture and kill them. The end.


Although there's lots of brutal violence and (decent-looking) gore that's all supposed to be disturbing, the only two disturbing things about this movie are the facts that 1) it exists and 2) that Artsploitation decided to release it on DVD. There is no storyline, no substance, no coherence, no nothing. It's all about violence and nothing else. Shallow and completely unsympathetic cardboard characters doing this, doing that, saying this, saying that. Someone's masturbating while watching a torture video. Someone gets force-fed by her very own body fat. People scream, people die. Character development? Build-up? Tension? Atmosphere? Who cares, as long as it's violent? Oh btw, did I mention that the movie is violent only for the sake of being violent?

There's not much more to say about it: the acting ranges from mediocre to bad and completely unbelievable, the editing is way too over-the-top, the dialogue is cringeworthy, and although it's only 75 minutes long, it's so badly directed and so badly paced, it actually feels as if it's 10 hours long. Even the worst films of the post-"Saw" torture-porn craze ("Train", "Scar", "Vile") are thousand times better than this idiotic piece of garbage.


I can't help concluding this review with a wonderful quote from Jamie Brownlie's ("Brutal as Hell") Review: "Fuck this movie, fuck the people who made this movie and fuck anyone who likes this movie."


Thanks to Eric Bresler (Artsploitation) for the screener!

3 comments:

  1. I think the folks behind this film was pulling an August Underground entry on us...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. August Underground my ass. It's 2015 and no-one wants to see this kinda shit anymore.

      Delete

Total Pageviews

:-)

:-)