01 July 2015

Project Terrible: SPACE MUTINY

The last movie of this terrible round was given to me by Michele (The Girl Who Loves Horror). For whatever reason, stupid me expected this to be an entertaining fun-fest. Guess what? Yup, it wasn't fun and it wasn't entertaining. It was just terrible...

SPACE MUTINY

Alternate Title:
Mutiny in Space

South Africa / USA, 1988
Directors: David Winters,
Neal Sundstrom (uncredited)

1/10







No, this is not an in-space version of classics like "The Caine Mutiny" or "Mutiny on the Bounty", and no, this is not a funky 80s sci-fi-fest. "Space Mutiny" is just another movie that has been an integral part of the Imdb Bottom 100 for many years (currently at #23), parodied by MST3K just 9 years after it was released, and rightly considered as one of the worst movies ever made.


This South-African piece of space turd (where's Neill Blomkamp when you need him?) desperately tries to be "Star Wars", "Star Trek" and "Battlestar Galactica" at the same time, following the crew of generation ship "Southern Sun" that tries to find and colonize a new planet, but is unable to do so (for whatever reason) which understandably pisses off some of the crew's more unsympathetic members. Guess what? Yup. Mutiny. Sabotage. Hi-jacking. The bad guys doing bad things and the good guys trying to save the day. Boom! Bang! Fire! Explosions! Happy end. Oh-so-surprising cliffhanger epilogue. End credits.

"Space Mutiny" is the worst and dumbest science fiction movie I've seen since "The War of the Robots", though while this Italian lowest-budget disaster was at least pretty darn entertaining, "Space Mutiny" is so mind-numbingly nuts, it's insane. Okay, there was some trouble during production: David Winters ("The Last Horror Film") had to drop out in early stage of filming due to a death in the family. He was replaced with Neal Sundstrom ("Howling V: The Rebirth") who tried his best to finish the film. He obviously wasn't pleased with the end result and refused to be credited as the main director. Of course, that isn't a proper excuse for why this movie is so fucking bad. While the bonkers storyline is somewhat tolerable, everything else about it is just... Aaaaargh! Stupid, stupid, stupid!


Veteran actor Cameron Mitchell looks like a 'crossbreed' between Santa Claus and Gandalf (that beard... that beard!!). Reb Brown, who looks like Dolph Lundgren's demented brother, constantly screams, or looks panicked out of his mind (sometimes he tries to look sexy too, but he obviously fails horribly). Graham Clarke looks like WCW-wrestler Sting 'disguised' as Billy Idol. Though that's nothing against John Philipp Law's utterly ridiculous performance as oh-so-bad guy who laughs and giggles all the time like Eric Freeman in "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2", calls everyone on board an idiot, and says shit like "It was cruel fate to be born in space, but I have vowed we will not die here. It is my destiny to set my feet upon a real world to accumulate wealth and power beyond our wildest dreams. I have offered the people of the Southern Sun a rich, new life, and now they have no alternative but to accept my generosity and alter course for Corona Borealis." in such a laughable way, it wasn't sure if should laugh, or if I should jump into the film and smack the shit outta him.


ALL (yes, all of them) space battle scenes were edited in from old "Battlestar Galactica" episodes and obviously, this footage is the only thing in "Space Mutiny" that looks good, compared to all the ugly brick wall(!) spaceship sets (yup, most of the film was filmed in an old industrial building...) and the goofy-looking bumper-car-like golf carts. There's also the most awful disco I've ever seen (people in the future still love playing/dancing with hula hoops...), there's some weird semi-sexy girls, called Bellarians, constantly playing around with plasma globes (where's Tesla when you need him?) and... well, is it just me or do all the extras scream as if they're losing their mind when they get killed?

 Ugh. Watch "Wing Commander" instead. Yes, I know, it has a bad reputation, but believe me: compared to this crap, "Wing Commander" is a Star-Wars-like masterpiece.

5 comments:

  1. For me, 'Space Mutiny' is trash- glorious trash.

    I got it as part of a 6-Film Sci-Fi Set for $3. It also included 'Future Force,' 'Future Zone' and 'Firehead'- all of which have now been done by Rifftrax!

    'Mutiny' did create one memorable moment: the greatest Continuity Error in Film History. That must count for something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For me, it's just trash. Nothing glorious about.

      There were so many continuity errors and shit, I have no idea which one was the 'greatest'.

      Delete
    2. "Captain, I'd like to thank you for giving that dead woman another chance."

      It does have some awesome Reb Brown screams, though, made all the more awesome by the totally inappropriate situations he uses them in. (Those little go-kart things had to be going upwards of 10 miles per hour!)

      Delete
  2. I love movies this inept - and the combination of running around a spaceship that is really a warehouse with sunlit windows and the effects footage from Battlestar Galactica makes this a one of a kind movie experience that must be seen to be disbelieved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "a kind movie experience that must be seen to be disbelieved" - I agree! :)

      Delete

Total Pageviews

:-)

:-)