26 August 2015

Neill Blomkamp's CRAPPIE


USA / Mexico, 2015
Director: Neill Blomkamp


It's official (or something like that): South African filmmaker Neill Blomkamp 
is a one-hit-wonder. His debut "District 9" was a tremendous and very impressive mind-blower, but the follow-up "Elysium" turned out to be so massively frustrating and disapointing, it was, and still is, very difficult to understand that this was made by the same director - and now his newest feature: "Chappie", even worse than "Elysium". An extremely underwhelming, nonsensical, unoriginal and stupid mix of "Short Circuit" (oh-so-cute and semi-clever robot on the loose) and "RoboCop" (good police robot, bad police robots), taking place in the same location as "District 9" (ugly Johannesburg), following a couple of antisocial elements that look like straight outta "Elysium".

With one of the absolute worst casts in recent years [the absolutely obnoxious, absolutely unbearable members of South African garbage band Die Antwoord,
a highly unlikable and surprisingly pretty terrible Hugh Jackman as uber-stereotypical bad guy, a dreadfully unimpressive Sigourney Weaver who once again plays a suit-wearing boss woman *yawn*], a cliché-ridden, foreseeable and really dumb screenplay, hardly any suspense, atmosphere or charm, and a certain kind of tone that is so all over the place, Blomkamp drove the already uninteresting storyline completely into the ground.

Yes, the CGI robot-effects look impressive, and yes, regular Blomkamp-collaborator Trent Opaloch's camera work is about as brilliant as always - unfortunately, that doesn't help anything when everything else is simply awful. Chappie is no Number 5. He's an idiot, his child/gangster behavior is unbelievable, implausible and damn unnerving, and aside from the one scene where he gets bombarded with stones and molotow cocktails, as well as a couple of scenes where he's doing some mildly amusing gangster shit, I felt absolutely nothing for him. I disliked him as much as I disliked everyone else in this piece of garbage. Wait a second... nah, I hated Die Antwoord's characters even more.

[Too be fair: I think several Die Antwoord tunes like "I Fink U Freeky" or "Fatty Boom Boom" are okay, but omg, both Yo-Landi and Ninja are probably the most unlikable fuckfaces since the Gallaghers.]
Furthermore, it's boring, tediously paced, way too long (120 minutes! 80-90 minutes would have been enough), the musical score by legend Hans Zimmer is devastatingly lame, and final battle is sooo ripped off of "RoboCop", I wonder why Paul Verhoeven hasn't sued Blomkamp already.

Final verdict: "Chappie" is crappy.
If Blomkamp will be really allowed to do another "Alien" film... *sigh*
I'd rather have ten more "Prometheus" films, all directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet...


  1. Have to say we are in agreement, I watched this again to see if I could find something else to like about it but I found more to dislike....

    1. You managed to sit through it a 2nd time??? You're a real hero. ;)

  2. Meh. I liked it.

    I don't think that there was all that big of a difference tone-wise between 'District 9' and 'Elysium.' They're both about as subtle as a shotgun blast.

    I also hate to break it to you, but pretty much every Robot Film involves the main one fighting a larger one. That's not something that 'Robocop' invented.

    The fact that you already hated most of the Cast probably does paint your opinion a bit too. I'm just saying...

    1. Meh. You're weird ;)

      District 9 is so impressively made, so unique, so fun.
      Elysium is just boring, foreseeable, lackluster.

      The end fight in "Chappie" is a small police robot versus a huge shoot-bot. This scene is so similar to the one in "RoboCop" that I have simply no idea what you're talking about.

      If Die Antwoord would have at least delivered satisfying performances, it wouldn't have mattered.

      Just get over the fact that I don't like it, silly :P

  3. Heh heh. Crappie. Heh heh. Skipping.


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