12 November 2015

"THE GALAXY INVADER" (Chilling 20 Movies Pack, #19)


Alternate Title:
Galaxy Invader

USA, 1985
Director: Don Dohler


"The Galaxy Invader"... the title is bland and totally doesn't reveal what an outrageously bonkers piece of schlockiness this movie is. With lots of beer and a budget of next to nothing, z-grade filmmaker Don Dohler ("Nightbeast") rounded up his friends to roam the forests of Baltimore in order to shoot a 'movie' about an alien (which looks like a retarded crossbreed of the "Creature from the Black Lagoon" and "Swamp Thing") that crashlands on Earth
in some kinda, erm, Meteor (???). Before the alien even realizes where it is and what is going on, it gets hunted by a gang of yokels who think the creature will earn them some moolah...

Holy spaceship, this movie is stupid. At times it's actually mildly amusing, but most of the time, it's just batshit stupid. After a somewhat decent opening that slightly reminded me of "The Blob", the movie goes downhill completely when we get introduced to the Montagues, a family of backward hicks with a 'patriarch' who constantly wears an incredibly badly ripped shirt, spending his days bitching about his kids, or trying to shoot his eldest daughter.

Things get hectic when the Galaxy Invader arrives, a man wearing an unbelievably laughable rubber suit and a rather harmless-looking weapon that gets activated via some ultra-cheap-looking glowing toy ball. The hicks go hunting and the alien goes hiding. When they finally encounter each other, the hicks start to holler and to drink and to shoot - and the alien shoots back with what looks like fireworks. There's also some shenanigans with a teenage boy and a teacher-slash-UFO-expert, some more hicks, some more shooting, and in the end, the alien gets killed and Mama Montague throws her husband over a cliff. Fin.

The acting is god-awful and most of the dialogue is just bad. Every single special effect looks either embarrassing or just dilettante, the story is non-existent, the editing is amateurish and the repetitive synth score is unbelievably unnerving. Some decent night shots, a few unintentionally amusing Invader-tries-to-look-oh-so-dangerous scenes, and the cliff finale is so ludicrous, I laughed my ass off. Other than that, "The Galaxy Invader" is crap.

Wiki ~ Imdb

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand your reaction - but I have a soft spot for Don Dohler's movies - here was a guy making home movie level stuff with a Super 8 camera - and he eventually made a few real feature films that actually played in theaters. That very idea - imagining going to the theater in the late 1970's and seeing one of these movies - is indescribably alluring for me.


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