16 November 2015



Chile / USA, 2013/2015
Director: Eli Roth


"Eli Roth is the fucking Adam Sandler of Horror movie directors.
His movies are Adam Sandler movies with blood and guts. (...) Think of the characters from 'Grown Ups'. (...) They're doin' their douchy things around town, and then halfway through end up in a torture hostel. BAM!
That is literally an Eli Roth film."

That's not my words, that's what Brad "The Cinema Snob" Jones said in his "Knock Knock" review (see here), and of course, I 100% agree with him. Just like Sandler who started out with really funny flicks like "Happy Madison" or "The Waterboy" before he ended up bombarding cinemas with the shittiest humor imaginable and utter crap like "Grown Ups", "That's My Boy" or "Jack and Jill",
Eli Roth kickstarted his career with cool, entertaining flicks ("Cabin Fever", "Hostel") and fun acting performances ("Inglourious Basterds"), before he quickly became the #1 poster boy for uber-grisly violence, douchey humor and annoyingly dumb characters ("Hostel 1+2", "Knock Knock", "Aftershock"). Though, while Sandler is at least pretty productive and is also still able to churn out something watchable like "Click" or "Funny People" now and then, Roth is a lazy bastard who only directed 5 features over the last 15 years, and even over such a long period, his movies gradually became worse and worse

Originally, "The Green Inferno" was supposed to come out in 2013 (back then, it was actually screened at various festivals), but due to some financial difficulties with the production company, the release date was pushed back, back, back until it was finally officially released last September. It's supposed to be an homage to the cannibal films of the the 70s and 80s, especially to Ruggero Deodato's amazing and infamous "Cannibal Holocaust" and Umberto Lenzi's not-as-awesome-but-still-okay "Cannibal Ferox" ("The Green Inferno" was actually the working title of "Cannibal Holocaust") - but, obviously, it's far from being as good as both these classics. Actually, in some kinda way, it's even worse than the worst of that genre, like "Cannibal Terror" or "Paradiso Infernale"...

...because Roth simply wasn't able to get anything right. A bunch of douchebags travel to South America to save the rain forest and end up getting eaten by a tribe of cannibals. So far, so good, but... no, it isn't good. The tone is way too goofy, way too silly, botching up any possible eerie atmosphere, any bit of scariness. Brutal meant-to-be-disturbing gore'n'violence scenes lose its impact because they're mostly followed by aggravatingly daft scenes, like the one where a young woman suddenly has a diarrhea attack and starts to defecate, or the one where the movie's most unlikable character (caught in a cage after witnessing his 'friends' getting killed and eaten) suddenly starts to wank(!) in order to relieve stress(!!!)... are you fucking kidding me??

He and almost every character is as unlikable as Donald Trump, and the only one who's mildly sympathetic (played by Roth's wife Lorenza Izzo), later makes a batshit stupid decision which immediately turns her from nice girl into freaking nutcase. I was constantly rooting for the cannibals and cheered whenever they killed and/or ate some of these idiots. There's some horrific 'female circumcision', but it is only in it to having something oh-so-shocking in it, and obviously serves no purpose. Same for other plot points and elements about environmentalism, culture clash or corruption. At first, you think Roth wants to tell us something important, but then you realize it's only in it to be "in it", if you understand what I mean. It's stupid, it sucks and it makes you wish that someone with a bit more intelligence wrote/directed it. Did I mention that the screenplay was co-written by Guillermo Amoedo who co-wrote the awful "Aftershock" and the god-awful "Knock Knock"? Ugh.
Worst of all: the entire ahahaha-NOT-FUNNY-AT-ALL scenes with the cannibal tribe high on weed, and the entire epilogue incl. one of the absolute worst jump scares of 2015 and one of the worst sequel-bait twist endings I have ever,
ever, ever seen.

Okay, like in every Eli Roth film, there's at least some good stuff in it. Here, it's some cool cinematography in the first half (that almost makes you forget about the super-shoddy shaky cam in the second half... almost!), the silly-but-fun scene where some girl slits her own throat, and the horribly brutal, surprisingly realistic scene where some black guy gets dismembered, cooked and eaten. The only scene that carries a remote/distinct "Cannibal Holocaust"-like flavor.
As for the rest... nah. I don't like this. It's not as bad as "Hostel 2" or "Knock Knock", and it's also not as bad as I expected, but it's once again Eli Roth at its worst, once again proving that he is the biggest hack in horror business, the "Adam Sandler of Horror".
Where's my "Cabin Fever" DVD? I need something good now.


  1. *rauns to my corner* I actually like it!...except the twist ending. What the fuck?! How?!


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