02 November 2015

THE LAST WITCH HUNTER

THE LAST WITCH HUNTER

USA, 2015
Director: Breck Eisner

5/10












No matter how hard Vin Diesel tries to be successful outside of the "Fast & Furious"-franchise: it just doesn't work. Last year's "Riddick" was a big disappointment, "The Chronicles of Riddick" (2004) and "Babylon A.D." (2008) were huge bombs, and this year's "The Last Witch Hunter" is actually even more of a disaster, in terms of critics AND box office.

Based on a script by Matt Sazama ("Dracula Untold"... ugh), Burk Sharpless (um, also "Dracula Untold"... ugh) and Cory Goodman ("Priest"... me + blog buddies Alec Pridgen & Cindy Prascik are pretty much the only persons in the world who love that flick), "The Last Witch Hunter" follows a man called Kaulder who, erm, is the world's last witch hunter (ba dum tss)! Cursed with eternal life, he roams the Earth for centuries trying to render all the witch riff raff extinct. For a while, everything looks peaches and cream - but then suddenly, the Queen Witch (who cursed him) gets resurrected and seeks bloody revenge...


No, "The Last Witch Hunter" isn't a good movie, but it's stupid enough to somehow entertain you for two hours. There's nothing here you haven't seen before. Countless scenes, story elements and characters feel like they were simply 'recycled' from stuff like "Constantine", "Underworld", "Hellboy", "Underworld" or the above-mentioned "Priest", and omg, the whole thing looks as if someone poured a bathtub full of shoddy CGI all over the movie.

Thankfully, the cast is pretty fun, especially Michael Caine (good as always), Elijah Wood (better than in the last couple of movies I've seen him) and Rose Leslie (what a sweetie-pie). The direction by Breck Eisner (who surprisingly hasn't done anything since his 2010 remake of "The Crazies") is pretty solid, music and cinematography are okay, the pacing is neat and I was never really bored.


Okay, Diesel's acting is at times extremely wooden, the editing is often horribly amateurish (Chris Lebenzon and Dean Zimmerman, ever heard of... no, wait... erm, do you even know what CONTINUITY means??), and hearing Ciara raping the shit out of the Rolling Stones classic "Paint It, Black" over the end credits was quite a torture. Still, I'm not mad about it. It's okay. I've seen worse. If you're up for some silly over-budgeted fantasy/action nonsense, this is your movie.

3 comments:

  1. My friend was watching this one last night....

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm not up for that. Thanks anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're full of crap

    ReplyDelete

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