28 October 2014

HAUNTED TRAILER

HAUNTED TRAILER

Alternate Title:
The Haunted Trailer

USA, 2014
Director: Chuck Norfolk

6/10








Oh, my goodness this is undoubtedly the stupidest movie I've seen all year so far. It's packed to the brim with dick jokes, fart jokes and masturbation jokes, with trailer park hicks farting, shitting, wanking, talking about wanking and boobies, drinking beer, looking ugly. Yeah, it sounds a lot like that despicable crapfest "Skeleton Key 2"... but you know what? It surprisingly wasn't that bad!

"Haunted Trailer" is the latest feature of Chuck Norfolk (writer of last year's "Conjoined"), taking place in a mobile home where a goofy hick family (hysterical redneck Momma, the two continuously masturbating brothers Aaron & Elvis, and the constantly horny blonde Prissy) gets haunted and shat all over by an ancient Montezuma-like demon, played by porn legend Ron Jeremy! Yeah, the chubby little hedgehog every male American has jacked off to at least once in his life. American, not European. Us Europeans, we don't watch porn because there's enough nudity in our arthouse films ;)


As I mentioned above, it's a really stupid movie, but stupid in an amusing, highly diverting way. There's shitloads of so-bad-it's-good Asylum-like CGI effects (flying melons and teddybears, Aphex-Twin-Windowlicker-like grimaces...), and outrageously funny fake ads for "Teaxs Thunder Light - Good fuckin' beer" or "Penny on a Tape - fer fixin thangs". The hick family feels like a conglomerate of my beloved Flodders and Lloyd & Harry, and all the actors' performances are damn well, especially "Conjoined"-director Joe Grisaffi as Momma whose blaring voice made me laugh every single time like an idiot.

In terms of dialogue, there's tons of awfully funny lines, mostly delivered in broad Texan accent:
"Alright, Mother Earth. Lubricate your pussy 'cause one nasty little demon is gonna shove his tree trunk right up into it... balls deep." /
"If you boys wanna see girls, you come inside and help your momma

shave her legs again." /
"Have you been putting popsicles up your brother's ass and made him shit

all over your sister again?"/
"Elvis, the ghost! He took a dump in your sock!" - "This time,

it's personal, ghost!" /
"Momma, come here! There's a devil in my poo-poo!" - "Oh baby, it sure

does smell like it." /
"Me and your brother got some business to take care off. (*pulls out a pan*)"

- "Is that non-stick?" - "I'm gonna stick it straight up your ass. I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt!"


I won't go into detail about all the shit (no pun intended) that takes place throughout the movie, but I assure you, the quotes above should give you good insight as to what's happening, and if you ever wanted to see Ron Jeremy coming out of a man's ass as burning fart, or as piece of shit getting flushed down the toilet, this is your movie. "Haunted Trailer" is stupid fun!

Imdb

Thanks to Chuck Norfok for the screener!

5 comments:

  1. Haunted Trailer Order online NOW!!
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    ReplyDelete
  2. Uh...okay. Your review was excellent, and I usually love low-class humor (like Tucker and Dale vs Evil), but this sounds a little too low-class. I'm glad you were entertained! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Low-class indeed, but funny as hell, at least that's what I thought ;)

      Delete
  3. Fair enough. We'll discuss your thoughts on American masturbatory habits another day. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That could be an immensely interesting discussion :D

      Delete

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