21 December 2014

THE SIGNAL (2014)

THE SIGNAL

USA, 2014
Director: William Eubank

2/10











Right after the opening scene which starts out very promising but suddenly ends abruptly (which was actually more frustrating than expected), I had a strange feeling about this movie, expecting it to be a letdown. 90 minutes later I realized that I just had seen one of the dullest and most stupid movies of this year. 

"The Signal" (not to be confused with the way cooler 2006 movie of the same name), is a muddled, incoherent and extremely aggravating hodgepodge of incongruous ideas, an annoying mishmash that has no fucking idea what it wants to be: Indie-thriller, horror-thriller, artsy fartsy sci-fi, over-the-top fantasy, semi-coming-of-age, alien abduction, found footage... *ugh* It's "Beyond the Black Rainbow" meets "Transcendence" meets "The X-Files" meets "Cube" meets thousands of other movies - and it's awful, awful, awful because nothing fits together at all.


William Eubank's direction is simply terrible because he tries so damn hard to make it all look way more clever than it actually is. It's horribly written, horrendously executed and the pacing is so fucking slow, you just wanna kill yourself. Laurence Fishburne gives another questionable "Colony"-like
I-don't-give-a-fuck-just-give-me-the-paycheck-already-performance and Brendon Thwaites comes off as if he constantly thinks: "I'm a really great actor!" - nope, you're not. Oh, did I mention the ridiculous over-usage of super-slow slow-motion? Mr. Eubank... seriously... is this a fucking joke or what?

1 point for the surprisingly impressive CGI effects, half a point for the music,
half a point for the bizarre scene with the cow. Ignore the oh-so-stylish cover: "The Signal" sucks!

4 comments:

  1. Looking at that poster, I excepted nothing good...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wonder if Laurence misses his Nightmare on Elm Street 3 days now...?

    ReplyDelete

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