21 September 2015

1 meh, 2 blech: BODY / EXCESS FLESH / I STAY WITH YOU (/Slash Filmfestival 2015)


USA, 2015
Directors: Dan Berk & Robert Olsen


"Body" follows three mid-twenty girls who break into a huge mansion on Christmas eve for partying and having a good time. All is fun until an unexpected visitor appears, who eventually falls down the stairs and dies, leaving the girls with a massive problem to deal with.

The movie actually starts out marvellous with hilarious talks about weed and food coma, a wonderfully Christmassy atmosphere that strongly reminded me of the still-underrated remake of "Black Christmas", and the near-perfect chemistry between the girls who all deliver absolutely terrific, incredibly believable, incredibly natural performances (Helen Rogers, "V/H/S" | Lauren Molina, "ABCs of Death 2" | Alexandra Turshen, "Piranha Sharks").

Unfortunately, after the incident, "Body" becomes so frustrating, it completely damped my spirits, and destroyed my initial wish to give it a 8/10, because instead of keeping up the fun mood and maybe going into a stage-play-scenario à la "The Gazebo" or "Jo", the directors decided to take all the fun away and turn the whole thing into an irritatingly serious thriller, with supposed-to-be-uber-intense scenes that are just lame, and unbelievably ridiculous character decisions that could have worked if the movie would have kept up the humor - but it didn't, and so these decisions are either cringeworthy or just stupid.

Genre legend Larry Fessenden's quite fascinating performance in the second half saves "Body" from being a total disaster, and the fact that it's only about 75 minutes helps because the movie is over before you become pissed. Still, this could have been so much better.


USA, 2015
Director: Patrick Kennelly


Contrary to yesterday's "México Barbaro" or the movie below, I simply didn't want to give this movie a proper rating. It would have be a waste of time giving Patrick Kennelly's debut feature a proper rating because it simply doesn't deserve a rating. What could have been an interesting, intriguing, intimidating and/or illuminating examination of eating disorders (Bulimia nervosa, Anorexia nervosa) and/or modern beauty / model standards, ended up us tedious and at times absolutely unbearable overlong arsty fartsy not-really-shocker, that fails so hard to create a new perspective on these very real problems, and instead goes into a lousy shock-sploitation direction that is both unnecessary and dumb.
[Plot: overweight girl imprisons her sexy roommate in their apartment in a twisted attempt to somehow bring them closer together].

Throughout the movie, there are several glimpses of brilliance, some scenes and moments that are actually pretty impressive, such as the main girl's very first night binge (a really intense scene), or the bizarrely humorous 'sex duel' dream sequence (at times super-funny, at times super-unsettling), but instead of creating more like that, he takes this glipses of brilliance and just throws them into an endless maelstrom of annoyance, consisting of supposed-to-be-shocking scenes, Nine-Inch-Nails-y sound effects and moments of utter stupidity, including a final semi-twist that was not just extremely foreseeable, but also comes way, way too late. In addition, the nonexistent narrative structure and the director's general ignorance to deliver anything to cling to, was maddening, and even though the acting was good (most notably Bethany Orr's superb performance)... well, I'm repeating myself, but it just does not help when your main characters are
unlikable as hell.

Oh btw: bravo /Slash Team for selling this movie as disturbing and disgusting piece of yuckiness - which it's not. The program described is as movie about "binging, purging and shitting, not about living, not about feeling" which is complete rubbish. Thanks for trolling.

Matt Donato from We Got This Covered put it in a nutshell: "'Excess Flesh' has a story to tell, but it’s convoluted and far too slight. If you revisit 'The ABCs Of Death' and watch 'X is for XXL', you’ll see almost the same exact idea trimmed down into a five minute short that packs a whopping final blow." Amen to that.


Original Title:
Me quedo contigo

Mexico, 2014
Director: Artemio Narro


In my entire life, I've never witnessed so many people leaving a movie theater during a movie. Never. But in this case, fully understandable. This Mexican 100-minute piece of garbage is so completely unwatchable, even I had to leave at the 70 minute mark, because, just like the majority of the audience, I couldn't stand it any longer.

"I Stay With You" is about 4 women who party, spontaneously kidnap a man, torture and kill him. The end. The first 20 minutes or so are somehow entertaining, but as soon as we get into party/torture-mode, the movie becomes more and more unbearable with every single minute.

This supposed-to-be-feminist semi-shocker is just bullcrap. If it would have been 4 men torturing, raping and killing a woman, everyone would be oh-so-upset, but here it's 4 women doing these awful things with a man, so it's okay, or what? Fuck that. This movie is an insult to both men and women. The women are represented as dumb bitches, the man as innocent victim who hasn't done anything. Nah, it just doesn't work that way to make a feminist statement by simply switching the gender roles, especially because everyone, the women and the man, they are all obnoxious douchebags. Message? Resolution? Nothing. Some talk about how you can do everything when you have the money, which could have been interesting, but the director decided to focus on fake dicks, pole-dancing and Tequila instead. The man is dead. The women carry on. Wow.

Maybe stuff like that works in Mexico, but here in Europe, it obviously doesn't work... AT ALL. Watch the "I Spit On Your Grave" films instead. They're actually soooo much more feminist that this trash.


  1. Wow - the crap is overflowing this year - I think the overall ratings are running WAAAAAAAYYYYYY lower for this year's festival. Hope the movies improve soon.

    1. Not really. Most films this year were either crap or at least huge disappointments. A fucking shame.

  2. I love the cover art on 'Body'.

    1. Pretty much the best thing about 'Body'.


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